Oh goodness. Life is sure to be busy this week. I'm awaiting shitty texts to fly all over the place. Seriously.
I got the papers in the mail for the adjudication of civil contempt on my ex about not paying his child support. To date he's approximately 8K in back support. As soon as that is done we're following it up with an adjustment in child support. In February we subpoena'd his financial records & 'found' an extra $25,000.00 a year that he wasn't paying child support on. 32% of that? Yes please. I'm just waiting for him to get the papers & throw the nasty texts my way. They'll only be texts because I refuse to speak to him. He lies too much. All of our communication goes through text or email aka a paper trail.
The fall out from this will be my children with broken hearts. Why? He'll refuse to see them again. Once he's gone 6 months & not seen them he'll take me back into court saying that I'm refusing visitation. Then I'll have to take all the texts in & show the phone records proving that I let him have full access to our children. Even if I don't want to, I do. I don't care to spend any type of jail time for keeping the kids from him. When I left his sorry ass I always said that he could see the kids. Until they are in imminent danger he will be allowed to see them.
Moving on, I dropped Cinderella off on Sunday. Her mom & step dad were out in the driveway. I couldn't care less. I didn't make eye contact because that's what they wanted. For me to engage their ridiculous behaviors. It didn't happen. I had my daughter with me. Cinderella got out of the car & opened the door to get her bag & her dog jumped in. The poor dog did NOT want to stay. Her younger sister came over & pulled the dog by 1 leg to get him out. I felt bad. I don't blame ya pups I wouldn't want to be there either.
I had made plans to see their neighbor. I'm actually really good friends with their neighbor. I love her to bits. She went to high school with my fiancee. I met her through him, she was actually friends with Cinderella's mom & step dad. Until Cinderella's step mom started playing all these bullshit mind games, we were all friends.
I drive up & around the corner to my best friend's house. I pull in the drive way. I get out & look down at Cinderella's house. Her mom is freaking watching me. What the hell? I'm an adult, I don't have your daughter, I can do as I please!
I get home & of course her mom has run her mouth on facebook saying that 'Me being so close makes her want to puke & how she's mentally killed me over & over & over in her head just for laughs.' Excuse me? I have 3 children of my own & you want me dead? Nice & to think that you're a nurse too. Dumb ass.
A week or so ago my fiancee asked for access to Cinderella's online school information so he could check her grades. He also saw that she missed school on Thursday because she was BABYSITTING! Not even sick but babysitting! He wants to check her attendance & make sure that she's not going to have to do summer school.
His ex said that she didn't have the password or the login information & she didn't really know why he needed it. Uhm, because we're supposed to have access to all of that? She said that she would get the password. Well she hasn't. I asked Cinderella if her mom had gotten the password yet & she said that she hadn't & that my honey didn't really need it.
That mixed with the bullshit of her mentally killing me over and over for laughs set me off. I called my honey at work yesterday & said, "Hey want me to call Cinderella's school & see what we have to send in to prove that you are to have access to her school information?" He said, "Yes." So I called yesterday & explained the situation, how Cinderella has her STEP DAD'S last name illegally & how was it possible that she was registered under a fictitious name. She told me the papers that I needed to fax. I said, "No problem." The secretary said that she would send the information on to the principal & have him call me back. I said, "Why don't you have him call my fiancee since that's her biological dad & legally you guys can't tell me anything." She said, "Ok that's fine." I gave her his information & faxed the papers within 20 minutes or so. I put on the fax sheet that if they needed anything else to please let my honey know.
I don't mind playing secretary. I do it quite a bit for him because of the hours he works. We're waiting for the ex to find out that we went around her to get a hold of Cinderella's school records. Last year we missed out on visitation because they made her go to summer school saying that she would fail & not move on to the next grade if she didn't. She's on an IEP.. in IL you CAN'T fail if you are on an IEP. Even if that means they just push you through until you graduate!
I'm also not sure WHY she's on an IEP. The child is smart but has a tendency to be lazy when it comes to school work. She's more interested in clothes, boys, etc.. typical for this age.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
I want, I want, I want....
I thought by the last 2 conversations in the car that I had put a bit of a stop to the "I wants" from Cinderella. Apparently not. I got a text yesterday of her telling me when her school dance was.
I replied with, "AWESOME!"
Then she said, "I still don't have a dress! pooy!"
I said, "We I guess your mom aught to take you shopping huh?"
She replied with, "We never go shopping." (Bs might I add)
I said, "Well there's a first for everything!"
She said, "What?"
I said, "You said that you guys never go shopping, so there's a first for everything."
Then she went on to say that, "They only spend their money on groceries."
Wrong answer. They had a party last Friday night, Saturday, 2 weeks ago tomorrow they were at the bar & have recently gone on vacation & shall I mention the amount of booze they drink? I'm sorry Cinderella, they have money, but you are not important enough to spend it on.
Your dad sends money every.single.month & we pay for ALL of your travelling expenses, so really? Talk to your mom. I never got into that with her though. I just said you need to talk to your dad. THEN SHE HAD THE DAMN AUDACITY TO ASK WHICH DAD TO SPEAK TO. Are you kidding me? Really? Which dad? FUCK THAT! The one who DOESN'T have DUI's, the one who isn't an alcoholic, the one who spends more on you PER MONTH (Which equates to more PER YEAR) than your piece of shit step dad & mom do. I digress.
The answer was a simple no. I told her I loved her & left it at that. Here's the problem, she asks me but never asks my honey about it. I just tell my honey about it. I really would love to sit her down & talk to her, boldly about everything, however I can't because A) It's not my place, B) It's in the court papers that we can't talk badly about the other party & I'm pretty sure I couldn't make it through that conversation without speaking poorly about her shitty mom & step dad.
I asked my daughter if she wanted to spend this weekend with Cinderella & she said, "No mom she doesn't talk to me." Which is true. Ever since her bitch ass mother kept her away from us for 4 months she is a completely different child.
She texted me 2 days ago about how she started her period & how she hates mother nature & how bad she's cramping. I said, "I'm sorry honey, you really need to talk to your mom about putting you on birth control." Yesterday was the first mention ever from my daughter about having cramps & I am calling to get her put on birth control to settle her hormones & hopefully work out her cycles. She's currently having a cycle every 14 days. 1 week on 1 week off.
Cinderella needs to be on birth control because if not, we're gonna be grandparents by the time she's 15. Why? Because her mom is DYING to have another baby in the house. I'm sorry but if my child had cycles like Cinderella I would've had her on birth control long ago. Cinderella has nasty cycles. I feel SO bad for her. This has been going on for her since she was 10!!! Instead tattoos & piercings are more important to talk about.
My poor Cinderella has a very skewed vision of life. Yes, when you're a mom you should do everything to stop your child's pain, misery etc. In the past 6 weeks Cinderella has asked for clothes to go on vacation with (even though we bought her a ton last summer & they still fit her), 500.00 to go on a DC trip, & now she wants a formal dress for a dance. No. Not happening. that's easily 1K in 6 weeks that she wants to spend. Get a job honey. If it were my children asking for this stuff, it would be a no go. Go out, raise your own money & then we'll talk.
I do love her but omg this I want junk is driving me INSANE! You need to prioritize things & not expect it all to be handed on a silver platter.
I replied with, "AWESOME!"
Then she said, "I still don't have a dress! pooy!"
I said, "We I guess your mom aught to take you shopping huh?"
She replied with, "We never go shopping." (Bs might I add)
I said, "Well there's a first for everything!"
She said, "What?"
I said, "You said that you guys never go shopping, so there's a first for everything."
Then she went on to say that, "They only spend their money on groceries."
Wrong answer. They had a party last Friday night, Saturday, 2 weeks ago tomorrow they were at the bar & have recently gone on vacation & shall I mention the amount of booze they drink? I'm sorry Cinderella, they have money, but you are not important enough to spend it on.
Your dad sends money every.single.month & we pay for ALL of your travelling expenses, so really? Talk to your mom. I never got into that with her though. I just said you need to talk to your dad. THEN SHE HAD THE DAMN AUDACITY TO ASK WHICH DAD TO SPEAK TO. Are you kidding me? Really? Which dad? FUCK THAT! The one who DOESN'T have DUI's, the one who isn't an alcoholic, the one who spends more on you PER MONTH (Which equates to more PER YEAR) than your piece of shit step dad & mom do. I digress.
The answer was a simple no. I told her I loved her & left it at that. Here's the problem, she asks me but never asks my honey about it. I just tell my honey about it. I really would love to sit her down & talk to her, boldly about everything, however I can't because A) It's not my place, B) It's in the court papers that we can't talk badly about the other party & I'm pretty sure I couldn't make it through that conversation without speaking poorly about her shitty mom & step dad.
I asked my daughter if she wanted to spend this weekend with Cinderella & she said, "No mom she doesn't talk to me." Which is true. Ever since her bitch ass mother kept her away from us for 4 months she is a completely different child.
She texted me 2 days ago about how she started her period & how she hates mother nature & how bad she's cramping. I said, "I'm sorry honey, you really need to talk to your mom about putting you on birth control." Yesterday was the first mention ever from my daughter about having cramps & I am calling to get her put on birth control to settle her hormones & hopefully work out her cycles. She's currently having a cycle every 14 days. 1 week on 1 week off.
Cinderella needs to be on birth control because if not, we're gonna be grandparents by the time she's 15. Why? Because her mom is DYING to have another baby in the house. I'm sorry but if my child had cycles like Cinderella I would've had her on birth control long ago. Cinderella has nasty cycles. I feel SO bad for her. This has been going on for her since she was 10!!! Instead tattoos & piercings are more important to talk about.
My poor Cinderella has a very skewed vision of life. Yes, when you're a mom you should do everything to stop your child's pain, misery etc. In the past 6 weeks Cinderella has asked for clothes to go on vacation with (even though we bought her a ton last summer & they still fit her), 500.00 to go on a DC trip, & now she wants a formal dress for a dance. No. Not happening. that's easily 1K in 6 weeks that she wants to spend. Get a job honey. If it were my children asking for this stuff, it would be a no go. Go out, raise your own money & then we'll talk.
I do love her but omg this I want junk is driving me INSANE! You need to prioritize things & not expect it all to be handed on a silver platter.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Here We Come!!
Onto my situation, the personal one.
The ex took me to court back in September/October & said that I was refusing visits. I spent a shitload of money on my attorney to prove that he was a douche bag & that I was not in contempt. The case was thrown out because I had too much evidence proving that I was not in contempt & that I was offering the children to him anytime he wanted them.
We had the court case moved to the county that I lived in.
In December I got papers saying that I would be ok with the current support order that was drafted in 2008. I didn't sign them. I said, "He's making more money, I want a discovery of income done on him. Subpoena his financial records." I think I annoyed my attorney with this. The ex has not paid child support since 8/31/2011. We subpoena'd his financial records & I got a colorful text that said, "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I smiled. Yes, yes I am. Do NOT under any circumstances fuck with my family. I tend to become the biggest bitch you'll ever know. I love my family & I will go to the ends of the earth to protect them. We 'discovered' an extra $25,000.00 that he wasn't forthcoming about.
To date he still has not paid child support since August 2011. We currently have an order in the courts for him being in contempt by refusing to pay child support. As soon as that is stamped & dated we have a follow up order requesting an up in child support plus the arrears.
He has seen the kids once since the beginning of this year. That's right in almost 5 months he's seen them once. Remember that whole contempt on me? He's definitely not getting the father of the year award.
This is where we stand. I'm awaiting the text telling me what a fucking bitch I am again. It wouldn't surprise me if he became homicidal over this. I prefer suicidal because the SSI would be quite a bit more than the child support. Yes, I'm a bitch like that!
The ex took me to court back in September/October & said that I was refusing visits. I spent a shitload of money on my attorney to prove that he was a douche bag & that I was not in contempt. The case was thrown out because I had too much evidence proving that I was not in contempt & that I was offering the children to him anytime he wanted them.
We had the court case moved to the county that I lived in.
In December I got papers saying that I would be ok with the current support order that was drafted in 2008. I didn't sign them. I said, "He's making more money, I want a discovery of income done on him. Subpoena his financial records." I think I annoyed my attorney with this. The ex has not paid child support since 8/31/2011. We subpoena'd his financial records & I got a colorful text that said, "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I smiled. Yes, yes I am. Do NOT under any circumstances fuck with my family. I tend to become the biggest bitch you'll ever know. I love my family & I will go to the ends of the earth to protect them. We 'discovered' an extra $25,000.00 that he wasn't forthcoming about.
To date he still has not paid child support since August 2011. We currently have an order in the courts for him being in contempt by refusing to pay child support. As soon as that is stamped & dated we have a follow up order requesting an up in child support plus the arrears.
He has seen the kids once since the beginning of this year. That's right in almost 5 months he's seen them once. Remember that whole contempt on me? He's definitely not getting the father of the year award.
This is where we stand. I'm awaiting the text telling me what a fucking bitch I am again. It wouldn't surprise me if he became homicidal over this. I prefer suicidal because the SSI would be quite a bit more than the child support. Yes, I'm a bitch like that!
Round & Round we go.
Wow, the need to update 2 different sections of my life.. how weird. (After typing this out I've decided to make it 2 separate blog posts)
First things first, since this one is about being a step mom, I'll update on Cinderella first. She's doing ok. Not great but ok. Her mother on the other hand is being psychotic. We had a fantastic lesson in this when her mother refused to let her grandmother take her to her brother's baby shower because she was mad at her son. Telling Cinderella that he was a bad influence. Really? That's your daughter's best friend. The son that YOU raised & you're now telling your daughter that he's a bad influence? Way to go dumb ass!!!
My Cinderella got in the car a few weeks ago & said that we NEEDED to go shopping because her mom & step dad were going on vacation & she needed clothes. I said, "Well sweetheart, if your mom & step dad has money to go on vacation then they have money to take you shopping." As heartless as this sounds, we just bought a TON of clothes for her last summer that she STILL fits in & that flatter her figure. She said, "Well my mom takes my clothes." I said, "That's an issue for you & your mom to figure out." I talked to my honey about it & he agreed. He is not funding her wardrobe, especially when we spend a ton in child support & travelling expenses.
This past time that I got my Cinderella she said, "I have a field trip at the end of next year & my mom said that if you guys pay for 1/2 she'll pay for 1/2." I said, "That was nice of her, how much is the trip?" She said, "$1,000.00." I said, "If it's your trip then I think that you should have to raise money as well instead of just having the money given to you." She said, "If I don't go, I'll be the only one in my family who doesn't get to go!" I said, "I suggest you start raising money then huh? A friend that you know, raised $2,000.00 to go to Hawaii & she's younger than you." Cinderella said, "How?" I said, "She worked her butt off & went door to door asking for donations." I said, "You'll have to talk to your dad about it, he's the one that makes the decisions about money concerning you." I texted my honey on the way home & he flipped shit. He said, "Ah no, she needs to raise SOME money on her own. I will help but not 1/2." Problem is whatever we don't give her mom & grandma will give so that way she doesn't have to raise any on her own. We think that she should have to EARN some money herself.
I discussed this with my child who is the same age & she said, "Yeah, we got the same brochure mom, ours said $2000.00, I know we don't have that kind of money so I just pitched it." Bless her.
We don't mind supporting Cinderella in her adventures but for her to expect money is ridiculous. Not to mention the exorbitant amount that we pay in child support & health insurance for her. We know that that money does not go for her living expenses because utilities are shut off at any given time & her mom & step dad drink it away. They have people showing up from rent-to-own places while Cinderella is home alone repo'ing TV's. I mean really. Come on now. Stop over-extending yourself!
Recently we got papers in the mail saying that his ex wants to keep the visitation arrangements the same. No, we are still going for FULL custody. While they were on vacation her step dad posted every single day about how drunk he was. FANTASTIC! They allowed Cinderella to wear a string bikini. I understand being comfortable in your own skin, however Cinderella is not a little girl. She burns like crazy. I'm sorry but at our house she has to wear the equivalent to a 1 piece with a shirt. The rule would still be the same if she was stick thin because of how she burns. SPF 50 doesn't even save her!
Her mom is more concerned about making sure that Cinderella understands the importance of a good tattoo & piercing than birth control. No 13 year old needs to have a belly button ring with the promise of when she turns 15 she'll let her get her belly button pierced. With the way things are going, there will be no piercings or tattoos because she'll be a mom by then. Sad to say, but it's true. Her mom is way more concerned with being a friend than a mom. Sickening to say the least.
First things first, since this one is about being a step mom, I'll update on Cinderella first. She's doing ok. Not great but ok. Her mother on the other hand is being psychotic. We had a fantastic lesson in this when her mother refused to let her grandmother take her to her brother's baby shower because she was mad at her son. Telling Cinderella that he was a bad influence. Really? That's your daughter's best friend. The son that YOU raised & you're now telling your daughter that he's a bad influence? Way to go dumb ass!!!
My Cinderella got in the car a few weeks ago & said that we NEEDED to go shopping because her mom & step dad were going on vacation & she needed clothes. I said, "Well sweetheart, if your mom & step dad has money to go on vacation then they have money to take you shopping." As heartless as this sounds, we just bought a TON of clothes for her last summer that she STILL fits in & that flatter her figure. She said, "Well my mom takes my clothes." I said, "That's an issue for you & your mom to figure out." I talked to my honey about it & he agreed. He is not funding her wardrobe, especially when we spend a ton in child support & travelling expenses.
This past time that I got my Cinderella she said, "I have a field trip at the end of next year & my mom said that if you guys pay for 1/2 she'll pay for 1/2." I said, "That was nice of her, how much is the trip?" She said, "$1,000.00." I said, "If it's your trip then I think that you should have to raise money as well instead of just having the money given to you." She said, "If I don't go, I'll be the only one in my family who doesn't get to go!" I said, "I suggest you start raising money then huh? A friend that you know, raised $2,000.00 to go to Hawaii & she's younger than you." Cinderella said, "How?" I said, "She worked her butt off & went door to door asking for donations." I said, "You'll have to talk to your dad about it, he's the one that makes the decisions about money concerning you." I texted my honey on the way home & he flipped shit. He said, "Ah no, she needs to raise SOME money on her own. I will help but not 1/2." Problem is whatever we don't give her mom & grandma will give so that way she doesn't have to raise any on her own. We think that she should have to EARN some money herself.
I discussed this with my child who is the same age & she said, "Yeah, we got the same brochure mom, ours said $2000.00, I know we don't have that kind of money so I just pitched it." Bless her.
We don't mind supporting Cinderella in her adventures but for her to expect money is ridiculous. Not to mention the exorbitant amount that we pay in child support & health insurance for her. We know that that money does not go for her living expenses because utilities are shut off at any given time & her mom & step dad drink it away. They have people showing up from rent-to-own places while Cinderella is home alone repo'ing TV's. I mean really. Come on now. Stop over-extending yourself!
Recently we got papers in the mail saying that his ex wants to keep the visitation arrangements the same. No, we are still going for FULL custody. While they were on vacation her step dad posted every single day about how drunk he was. FANTASTIC! They allowed Cinderella to wear a string bikini. I understand being comfortable in your own skin, however Cinderella is not a little girl. She burns like crazy. I'm sorry but at our house she has to wear the equivalent to a 1 piece with a shirt. The rule would still be the same if she was stick thin because of how she burns. SPF 50 doesn't even save her!
Her mom is more concerned about making sure that Cinderella understands the importance of a good tattoo & piercing than birth control. No 13 year old needs to have a belly button ring with the promise of when she turns 15 she'll let her get her belly button pierced. With the way things are going, there will be no piercings or tattoos because she'll be a mom by then. Sad to say, but it's true. Her mom is way more concerned with being a friend than a mom. Sickening to say the least.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The First Court Date & My Mom's Death
We had our first court date last Wednesday with a court commissioner. We will get to see Cinderella on Christmas day for the next few days after. We can't WAIT to see her. We learned some things when we went to court. First of all, the ex told her atty that she didn't think that my honey wanted to see Cinderella after August. Say WHAT? Second of all she told her atty that Cinderella & my mom didn't have a close relationship. Our attorney laughed & said, "I have a whole stack of papers proving otherwise."
We are now awaiting our next court date. At least we have a temp order in place so that we CAN see her.
The honey & I are a bit apprehensive to see her because we are unsure what she's been told. When I dropped her off in August I told her, "It'll be a while before we can see you but I promise daddy & I are going to fight for you." We've kept our promise up. We have bits & pieces of what she is acting like now & I'm unsure how or why she's doing what she's doing.
All we can do now is pray for the best. When we pick her up on the 25th, we will be bringing her back to our home to have OUR Christmas with her. We will be taking her to Grammy's grave so she can see where Grammy is & hopefully start to get some closure.
The most heart breaking part of my mom's service was when we were at the graveyard & after the words were said, the great grand babies laid yellow roses on her casket, The grand babies laid white roses, us kids laid light pink, daddy laid 1 single red rose on her casket. The honey & I laid Cinderella's rose on top of my mom's casket for her. Together we walked up, tears streaming, and laid the rose up there for my Cinderella. I sobbed when I turned around because we tried in vain to get Cinderella. She SHOULD'VE been there. She WANTED to be there.
In the end, we did everything we could. All that's left is prayer. My Cinderella has an amazing guardian angel looking out for her now.
We are now awaiting our next court date. At least we have a temp order in place so that we CAN see her.
The honey & I are a bit apprehensive to see her because we are unsure what she's been told. When I dropped her off in August I told her, "It'll be a while before we can see you but I promise daddy & I are going to fight for you." We've kept our promise up. We have bits & pieces of what she is acting like now & I'm unsure how or why she's doing what she's doing.
All we can do now is pray for the best. When we pick her up on the 25th, we will be bringing her back to our home to have OUR Christmas with her. We will be taking her to Grammy's grave so she can see where Grammy is & hopefully start to get some closure.
The most heart breaking part of my mom's service was when we were at the graveyard & after the words were said, the great grand babies laid yellow roses on her casket, The grand babies laid white roses, us kids laid light pink, daddy laid 1 single red rose on her casket. The honey & I laid Cinderella's rose on top of my mom's casket for her. Together we walked up, tears streaming, and laid the rose up there for my Cinderella. I sobbed when I turned around because we tried in vain to get Cinderella. She SHOULD'VE been there. She WANTED to be there.
In the end, we did everything we could. All that's left is prayer. My Cinderella has an amazing guardian angel looking out for her now.
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