The Name Game

Ohhhhhhhh how this can get sticky sticky sticky!!!!

We all know that 2 people have to have sex to have a kid. They don't need a license, they don't need any type of classes or books on how to be a mom & dad. They just don't. Personally I DO think that there should be some sort of parenting classes for new parents. Especially with all of the teen parents that are coming to be.

When you get divorced it should be a NO brainer that mom is mom & dad is dad. Unfortunately, and all too often the name game starts. Some step moms instantly expect to be called mom by children that barely know her. Some moms expect their children to call their new honey dad even though they barely know them themselves!

My ex is with a wicked bitch who would LOVE for my children to call her mom. Newsflash, not happening. When you openly discuss how much you hate ME, hate my children & hate who I am, my babies are NOT going to be cozy with you! They know that I'm mom. With my ex husband's first divorce (yes, he's on his 3rd marriage) she put IN the divorce that the parents keep their respective names. Aka Mom is saved for her & dad was saved for the ex. I thought this LUDICRIS! Are you kidding me???? WHY on God's green earth would I EVER force a child to call me mom?!?!? Now I understand why!

Do not under ANY circumstances expect for your child to call your new honey anything BUT their real name!!
Do not REFER to her as mom or mommy, or the new guy as dad or daddy. Refer to them as their REAL name.

This is one of the touchiest subjects there is aside from visitation & money.

My babies DO call my honey daddy. Put the torches down... When I got with my honey my babies were 4, 5 & 9. After MONTHS of correcting them & telling them, no you have a dad, this is *honey's name*, they continued. Then it was after *honeys name* & I get married then you can call him dad. This wasn't good enough. They started about a month after they met him & continue to do so. My honey & I tried in VAIN to get them to call him by his name & they wouldn't have it.

As I was tucking the now 7 year old in bed she questioned me on why I expected them to call my honey by his name. I explained that they already had a dad & while it was ok to have 2 dad's it might hurt their real dad's feelings by calling my honey daddy. I got a massive smack in the face when my 4 year old said, "Mommy, he treats us good. He loves us. He is always with us. He goes to everything for us. He's my daddy." Blew me away. Even at the tender age of 4, my daughter knew what it was to be a daddy.

In all honesty my honey has ALWAYS treated my babies like his own. He gets weird when I call them MY babies. As far as he's concerned they are OUR babies. All 4 of them. The then 4 year old had a point. He does & always has gone to their parent teacher conferences, dr. appointments, their games, their gymnastics meets, their programs at school, take daddy to school day etc. The school wouldn't know who the hell my ex husband was if he showed them his id. They'd be like you're not their dad, *insert honey's name* is their dad.

Bottom line, don't force it. If it comes naturally then it does. If they are young, try and correct them. If they are hell bent as my children are, then just hang it up. lol!